Vasectomy Reversal Tips » Feelings

Your Personal Journey From Tubal Ligation To Tubal Reversal Surgery

Mike Malone — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 18:39:06 +0000

A member of the Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center message board asks for others women’s reason for deciding to have tubal reversal surgery with Dr. Berger and how their journey began. Other members post their stories and give encouragement to one another. Many women often question their reasons for wanting to have tubal reversal surgery. The message board offers women a chance to talk about their questions and gather information to help them make the best decision for themselves and their families.

This is topic Your journey from TL to TR in forum New Message Board Members at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by 2girlsmama (Member # 12024) on February 26, 2008 05:12 PM:
Hi!
I’m newer to the board.I wanted to know what brought you to Dr. Berger and brought you on this journey?
The reason why I’m asking is I’m so confused what to do. I want to have the TR for PTLS symptoms but I want another baby too. My lovely DH started me on this journey when he said he often wishes we could of tried again for a boy. Hense my screen name 2girlsmama. Then after I find this wonderful site, and we find out that I’m not crazy and the feelings and symptoms I have are most likely due to PTLS, he decides that our family is complete and doesn’t think we should do it to have DC but for my health, and since concluding I would have to do some form of birth control so that I was not pregnant all the time. So he has back down from wanting me to have the TR because he feels we are complete. He also thinks since I would have to be on the BC anyways why have the surgery!
I also just found out my best friend who has been nothing but supportive thru this process is pregnant, and it’s funny because her and her DH thought their family was complete!!
I just wanted to see if others were like me struggling to make the decision to either have it or to not. I know it can only be up to me and my DH.Has anyone else’s DH felt like they wanted the TR and then changed their mind? Also I take BC pills due to the heavy bleeding which I’ve been on now for a year, and I was going to try to go off them this month, I skip the normal day I start and immediately felt like crude, bloated.So I took the pills and this whole week I have felt like a bump on a log, nothing interests me, I’m short with my DDs and just want to crawl in hole. I don’t know if it is depression or just disappointment in possibly not getting the TR.
Any opinions or stories would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
Sherry

Posted by Blessings (Member # 9736) on February 26, 2008 05:35 PM:
Sherry,
My DH and I have 5 children together and I had the TR surgery due to the PTLS (BEST THING I EVER DID). We did not want anymore children since we have 5 already. Since my surgery I have not taken any precautions not to get pregnant.. we decided if it was God’s will for us to have another baby that he will bless in this area , if not then that is okay too.
I feel like my old self before TL and for that it was well worth anything even if I never do have another baby.
I will be turning 40 soon and will take precautions not to get pregnant if I do not get that BFP very soon.
You could always have the surgery and if you later decide to TTC then you will have that option plus, you could help eleviate your PTLS symptoms.
Best of wishes, christie

Posted by sprocket (Member # 10860) on February 26, 2008 05:56 PM:
hi sherry,
i had my TL when i was 18 yrs old. i had already had 2 children and was in a very bad marriage, so i thought it best. well from then on until TR my periods were awful. always painful, 7 – 10 days long and very,very heavy. i had started looking into TR around the year 2000, b/c of my periods ( my doctor never would put me on the pill, said it was a waste b/c of TL) my husband at the time wouldn’t hear of it. he said the period thing was a lie and i was trying to trap him with child support if we split up. needless to say i realized b/c of that and other things we didn’t need to be together any longer. i suffered for 5 more years with the terrible pains . in 2005 i meet my soul mate. we discussed more children right off the bat and i explained about the TL and about the TR. he was all for it,after we got married. so we got married 3/7/07 and 5/2/07 we had the TR. he has 7yr old triplets from his 1st marriage and i have 2 teenagers from my 1st marriage. so in a sense we are complete also. we mainly did the TR b/c of my problem, but have since decided to try for more babies. to me if you are already on BC what would it hurt to have the surgery and then stay on them and later if you and DH decide to have more children you can. TR is most definately worth getting rid of PTLS. my periods are now only 3-5 days, alot less painful and no where near as heavy. good luck and best wishes.
danyelle

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on February 27, 2008 08:45 AM:
Hi Sherry I had my TL in October of 03. I was in a marriage were things were not good and did not want to add any more children to the mix. I have moved on and God has blessed me with a great man. Funny thing is he is younger than me too. He does not have any children of his own but has took my 2 in as his own. He does all the daddy stuff even the sick stuff. I am getting the TR to make me feel better from the PTLS and if God choices to bless us with a baby we would love it. I am set to get my TR in March on the 24th.I remember that before my TL I loved getting out and doing things I loved life. After the TL I want to just stay home never get out a lot even though I love the great outdoors. I want to be myself again so I can be a better mom. I understand where you are coming from. If you want to you are welcome to come to the Waiting Room and talk with all the lady’s in waiting. I wish you all the best in what you decided to do. Miranda

Posted by 2girlsmama (Member # 12024) on February 27, 2008 02:45 PM:
Ladies
Thank you for your tell me your stories.I want relief from these problems. I’m scared I will be the only one that doesn’t benefit from this surgery. It’s nice to hear when others have the same symptoms as me and having doctors telling them it all in their heads. Is the waiting room for posters already scheduled or for anyone considering the TR?
Sherry

Posted by hopefulin2008 (Member # 11297) on February 27, 2008 03:35 PM:
Hey ladies I hope its alright if I jump in! I have not had my TR yet but I am schudeled for Aug 4 so that will put me at 2 years and 8 months and some odd days between TL and TR. I am having my TR so that my DH and I can have another baby but not only that I would love some relief from the PTLS sysptoms that I have too. Hope you ladies are having a blessed day in the Lord! Jennifer in NC

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on February 27, 2008 03:46 PM:
The Waiting Room is for all lady’s waiting in some way. You are more than welcome even if you have not set your date yet. My name is Miranda and I am keeping the list going right now. I started caring for the list before I set my date. I was weired to put my own name on the list. I wish you all the best.

Posted by 2girlsmama (Member # 12024) on February 27, 2008 10:23 PM:
Thank you Miranda. I have read the posts in the Waiting Room. I’ll have to go over and post. Thanks

Posted by beebeekinsers (Member # 12115) on February 29, 2008 10:39 AM:
Hello Ladies,
My journey begins almost ten years ago. I was 26, having my 4th child, and near the end of my marriage. I now have a wonderful DH, who married me 8 years ago, knowing that I could not have more children. We spoke of reversal early in our marriage, but were not fortunate enough at that time to find Dr. Berger. Suddenly, we began to talk about it again, after I found this web site, and we are both very excited bout the possibility. I have not scheduled the surgery yet, since we need to save the money up, and I also need to lose some weight. I’m 36 now, and feel confident that there is time for me. My kids are thrilled that we’re planning this.

Posted by Lisa D. (Member # 11010) on February 29, 2008 12:13 PM:
Hi Sherry!

I didn’t have PTLS, so I can’t speak to that, but I can speak to the fear. I, too, was more than a little anxious about ttc again. So many questions and I would waffle back and forth between, yes I want another baby, well maybe that would be too much to add another child?-Always struggling to leave it in God’s hands. Anyway, we went through with the surgery and I was soooo nervous because I assumed we would be just as fertile as we were before. I swear He would just breath on me and I would get preggers!!! LOL Well, here I am almost a year post TR (5/1/07) and not one BFP. Oh how I wish I could have the ‘problem’ of being too fertile!! So my point of all this is- I had nothing to worry about. We don’t have to use protection, because it isn’t easy for us to conceive anymore. We have to work at it and that seems to be the case for alot of gals here. Though, everyone is not the same and the type of your TL makes a difference. Just thought I’d share our experience. GL
Lisa

Tags: Best Friend, Birth Control, Board Members, Center Message, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, Dh, Dr Berger, Encouragement, Feelings, Health, New Message Board, Personal Journey, Reason, Reversal Surgery, Screen Name, Tl, Tubal Ligation

Tubal Reversal For Women Who Regret Having Their Tubes Tied

Mike Malone — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:15:54 +0000

Many women that come to Dr. Berger for their tubal reversal procedure often state that the reason for having the surgery is that they have regretted having their tubes tied in the first place. It is our mission that tubal reversal surgery with Dr. Berger will restore hope, fertility, and the opportunity to have children for 800 more couples, as we have done each year in the past. The Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center message board offers women a chance to see that they are not alone in their feelings and desire for the tubal reversal procedure.

Tubal Reversal Discussion on the Tubal Reversal Message Board:
A new Tubal Reversal Message Board member says, “Hi everyone. My name is Kate and I had my TL in 2004 after my second son. I regretted it from that day. I would like to get a tubal reversal but my doctor said because they were burned, cut, and tied that it was probably not likely to have them repaired. She actually referred me to an In vitro clinic. I’m just checking out my options right now after coming across this site.” Kate receives many responses from other message board members about the advantages of tubal reversal and assurance that the fallopian tubes can be repaired by Dr. Berger even after they have been tied, cut and burned. It is apparent that many people, including doctors, mistakenly believe that tubal ligation is permanent and cannot be reversed. In fact, the rate of successful reversal is over 90% among Dr. Berger’s tubal reversal patients.

Posted by Patiently waiting (Member # 11777) on December 29, 2007 12:23 PM:

Hi everyone. My name is Kate and I had my TL in 2004 after my second son…I regreted it from that day. I would like to get a TR but Im kind of sceptical about it. My doctor said because they were burned, cut, and tied that it was probably not likely to have them repaired. She actually refered me to an Invitro dr….anyway, Im just checking out my options right now and I came across this site….I guess we’ll see. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Posted by mamasoup8 (Member # 11212) on December 29, 2007 12:38 PM:

I had that procedure Kate, and ended up with tubes of okay lengths! Dr. B is the best! I just had TR in November, so I can’t report a BFP yet, but I’m hoping! Good luck in your decision- Traci

Posted by PaulnJenn (Member # 10984) on December 29, 2007 02:17 PM:

Kate,
Send your operative reports to Dr.B and you will be able to find out if you are a good candidate for surgery.The type of TL that you have had has a lot of successful pregnancies.(on the weekly pregnancy lists) The great thing about TR is that you can try every month without the expense of IVF.
Jenn
TL-04/99
TR-11/19/07

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on December 29, 2007 03:58 PM:

Kate I hope you all the best. My doctor told me about going to Dr. Berger for my TR because of the way he did my TL. So look into everything before you say a door is closed. Dr.Berger said that he could do my TR so now we are working to getting on done in March of 2008.

Posted by LAG (Member # 7053) on December 29, 2007 05:34 PM:

Hi Kate, I had the same thing done (called a modified pomeroy). I got a BFP two months after TR but it ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks due to chromosomal abnormality. I have had a long year since then and haven’t been able to try the whole time, but I am currently 5 weeks pregnant as of tomorrow. I ended up with 7cm on each side. Dr. Berger is very good at what he does. I would rather know I have a shot each and every month than pay $10,000 for a gamble per month, not to mention the toll on your body from all the fertility drugs and trauma to your ovaries.
God Bless and good luck!

Posted by Patiently waiting (Member # 11777) on December 29, 2007 06:56 PM:

Hello again,
I have a second question…..I have not cycled in 7 months ( my TL was in 2004) and Im wondering if this would affect my chances of a successful TR or if this is even something to worry about. My gyn dr say that it is just from stress….trust me, I have a 3 yr old and a 4 yr old but I am not that stressed….what does everyone else think about this? She wanted to give me Depo to make my body cycle but I refused….any comments? [Confused]

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on December 29, 2007 09:27 PM:

After my TL my cycle messed all up. It has not been normal after the TL. I did the shot no help and then did pills for away and still no help. Could be stress that does happen but the foods you are eating could too. If you are not taking in everything your body needs your cycle could stop. Pray about it and hang in there cause some times it helps to know your not alone. I went all most 7 months was the longs for me.

Posted by cnrstepp (Member # 11810) on January 01, 2008 09:27 AM:

Hi! My cycle has been all off whack since my TL, too. I have more painful periods now than ever before. I am hoping that things will even out once I have my TR.
I have heard wonderful things about Dr. Berger and his staff. If anyone can give you a chance, it will be them!!
Cora
TL: 10-1994
TR: hoping for March/April

Posted by Rhonda Brown, RN (Member # 9485) on January 02, 2008 08:19 AM:

Welcome to the board. I am glad to hear that you are thinking of having tubal reversal surgery. Dr. Berger has performed the reversal procedure on patients will all types of tubal ligations.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any other questions or if I can assist you with anything. I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully meeting you in the near future.
RhondaB@tubal-reversal.net
Rhonda

Posted by cf4063 (Member # 11864) on January 03, 2008 04:10 AM:

My TL-3/2002. I am so excited to have a child by my husband now!! I am really hoping for the TR in early April!! I love to read the stories of success and high hopes!! Good luck girls!! I can’t wait to post my EDD!!!

Tags: Board Member, Board Members, Center Message, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, Couples, December 29, Desire, Doctors, Dr Berger, Fallopian Tubes, Feelings, Fertility, Invitro, Message Board, Reversal Surgery, Tl, Tubal Ligation, Tubes Tied, Vitro

Guilt And Regret Over Having Tied Tubes

Mike Malone — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:59:34 +0000

Tubal Reversal surgery offers a chance for women who have changed their minds and desire more children after having their tubes tied. The message board at Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center offers women a place to share their feelings and receive support from others who are experiencing feelings of regret or guilt over their decision to have their tubes tied. Fortunately, Dr. Gary Berger and Dr. Charles Monteith offer a low-cost, outpatient procedure that has given thousands of women the chance to restore their fertility and have more children as well as help in finding relief from unpleasant symptoms developed after undergoing tubal ligation.

This is topic Guilt and regret after tubal ligation in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by Dr. Monteith (Member # 11996) on September 24, 2008 09:21 AM:
Our new blog discusses common reasons patients have shared with us as to why they have regretted their tubal ligation: Guilt or regret after tubes tied Please share your story on the message board if you have had such an experience.

Posted by MyAngel112706 (Member # 12279) on September 24, 2008 10:58 AM:
I very much regret My TL. Nine short months after my TL my DD so sadly passed away. We were devastated. I thought when I had the TL done I was making the right decision because my family was complete because I had my 2 boys and now my little girl. I regret that decision now more than anything but I have corrected that decision with my TR in march of this year. I have not had a BFP as of yet but I have time, I am only 30. I feel it will happen when my mind and my body is ready. Thanks so much.

Posted by Brandon, ST (Member # 9908) on September 24, 2008 10:59 AM:
This should be a very interesting thread. I would be interested to see how many people have come to their decision of having a tubal ligation reversal.
Brandon,ST

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 11:29 AM:
I strongly regret having my TL. At the time, I experienced a troublesome pregnancy and my OB at that time, scared me into having more children. I don’t know why I listened to her, but I did. Now 3.5 years later, I am scheduled for my reversal on 10/8/08. I am looking forward to having ‘normal’ cycles again and praying that if it is God’s will, we will get pregnant again.

Posted by MOMZILLA (Member # 12256) on September 24, 2008 11:39 AM:
If I had to do it all over again I would never have the TL. I could have saved myself 3 years of PTLS misery, angst, doctor visits and the near collapse of my marriage….I am so grateful the the TR has resolved all my symptoms and given me my life back..I tell everyone who mentions it not to have a TL or to give it serious consideration (understanding the potential physical complications before they do it). Tracy

Posted by albmdb (Member # 12062) on September 24, 2008 11:44 AM:
I had tl in 12/98 after the birth of my son. No problems durning preg, however my husband then was very abusive, mental,physical,emotional. I really wanted more kids later on but not with him, so i had tl. yes i really regreted but i always thought i would never be able to get away from him so that is why i had tl done, before my son turn 1year old he left me for a much younger girl, she was 18 and i was 21 with 2 kids, she had none. that was my chance to move away, i did and got my life changed and met the man of my dreams, he had no kids and always treated my kids as his own. we dated 3 years and then i finally married him in 2003. I am so happy and so are my children, my children have not seen there real father and they dont care too. They are only 9 and 12. So now i have tr and we are trying for a baby and my children are so happy, they both said they cant wait to be the big brother/sister.We also talked to them before we had the tr done and they was please to know mom could have a new baby some day.
My tr was 4/7/08 and no bfp yet and my cycles have been way off, around 38 to 40 days.
SO yes i really regreted doing tl.

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:00 PM:
What is interesting to me, is that often the association between guilt and symptoms is used to explain physiological symptoms following TL. When I first began having bad symptoms, very soon after TL, I didn’t even regret the decision yet. I was convinced it was “for the best”. My symptoms went on for months and months, until I began praying and crying about what I had done… So, my question (and I’ve answered this for myself on a personal/spiritual level) was did the symptoms CAUSE me to begin to realize and regret what I had done, since they came first? My TL was necessary to change my heart to understand what God had given me, and that what I had done (for me and my family) was wrong! I decided on the TL absent of my faith in God, and against my husband and doc’s recommendations! So, once I realized what I had done, and that it would cost my family 7k for a trip to repair it, it hit me very hard. I’m thankful I had the TL because through it, I learned that large families, and children in general are the tool that God is using in me to mold me to what He wants me to be…had I not had it, I would be pregnant another time or two, and maybe I would view these additional children as blessings but burdensome, since my heart needed the change in many ways to ensure that my faith was complete. **Oh, and to touch on the blog, no pastor told me that my TL was “against God’s will”. This was something very personal between me, God and my husband. No pastor is in our bedroom-only Christ dwells there. I’m not religious, so it isn’t about “rules” of do’s and dont’s. I’m saved by Christ, so for me, it was about the Holy Spirit working in a way to change my heart about this particular subject, just as He has in other ways-no rules. I don’t believe you have to have lots of kids to be a Christian! If we never had another, I know my heart and so does God..this is a personal heart change of faith.** Blessings, Andrea

Posted by Jennifer K. (Member # 7884) on September 24, 2008 12:14 PM:
I may be unique in that I don’t regret having my TL. At the time it was the right decision for me and I had no way of knowing how my life would change. I am grateful that I found CH and Dr. Berger who was able to give me what I needed when it came to the TR. I now have a beautiful daughter and I know that everything that came before, including my TL and TR, was so I could eventually have her in my life. Jenn

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 24, 2008 12:20 PM:
I love your perspective JenniferK! That’s exactly how I feel. Of course, I do wish I would have fully considered it with prayer before hand…but I do believe we must often go through bad things to open our eyes or to end up where we need to be!God Bless and congrats on having the baby you so wanted! Andrea

Posted by RebeccaJ (Member # 12216) on September 24, 2008 12:26 PM:
I had my tl right after my dd was born nearly 13 years ago. I didn’t regret it at first, but within a year and our situation changed, then I regretted it.
We had the tl for financial reasons and very selfish reasons on my part. I smoked and could not take birth control and I was not aware of other methods, (shot etc.) until after the fact. (I have quit smoking since this time) I was also pressured by my mother and husband who informed me that four was enough.
In addition, I had lost a baby just prior to conceiving my dd. My husband was worried something would happen to me.
The sad part was, I was only 32 years old. I am now 45, had my tr this past July. If God blesses us then we are open to a blessing, if our time came and went then at least I will be relieved of my post ligation symptoms. I watched my sister get her tubal a few months after I had my daughter, (she had to have an emergency c-section and they let me go in with her). If you ever see this, you would never get a tl. God Bless Rebecca
TR 07/28/08

Posted by Amy1234 (Member # 5192) on September 24, 2008 01:02 PM:
Mine was a divorce and remarriage to a man with no children that got me searching the net. We have one together and are ttc #2, then I will have another tl. I am so glad we had tr as an option to allow us to complete our family together. Amy
TR Baby 5/31/07
TR #2…hopefully soon

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 24, 2008 02:00 PM:
I had regret not long after because my body started acting up.I wanted something done before I even meet my now husband.My TL was done when I had a c-section with my last child.At the time and being with my first husband having no more children was the right thing. If I had not felt so bad I would not have thought about a TR. I am now remarried to a great man with no children of his own. But I will tell any that even if I never get blessed with another child, doing away with PTLS was wroth it all to me. I feel like myself again and my DH loves it because we get out more and have fun now. Before I felt to bad through out my cycle to where I did not even want to leave the house. Miranda

Posted by Flutist29 (Member # 12785) on September 24, 2008 02:09 PM:
I agree with the PTLS! My experience has been horrible since my TL. My poor DH has had to see me be in pain and deal with ME during it all for the last 3.5 years. I’m looking forward to relief myself. Getting pregnant is a desire, but we are turning that over to God.

Posted by Tanya from VA (Member # 9507) on September 24, 2008 02:44 PM:
My situation is a bit different than many here, but similar as well. I had my TL in 2000 after the birth of my second child. My dh and I were both working-full time outside the home, and finances were as crunched as they can be. We had one of each, and we were saving for our first single-family home. Neither of us liked birth control much – as married people we just found it tedious and unnecessary so we opted for the TL. We never could have forseen the time when finances changed, and original desire I had for three children would be become within our means both financially and being able to be at home full-time. I had moments of deep regret but mostly because other circumstances made our decision vs. us making it because we were complete. I didn’t have daily regrets, I was not emotionally wrecked – just a longing and the occasional ache for something that I knew couldn’t be. When I found CH – it was a dream come true. I’d never even heard of having it reversed! I couldn’t get there fast enough. It didn’t take long, and we were in CH getting it done. And while we had some ups and downs (one chemical, one loss at 10 weeks) we eventually welcomed our first TR baby in May 08. During the pg we had many long honest conversations about after and all the factors: the long emotional journey ttc, our ages, the age differences in our children – we agreed our family was going to be complete. There were some medical concerns but those aside – I would have re-ligated my tubes anyway. I’m 37 next month, I have three children and my life is very full. I know my limitations, and with the tools we have – we can raise these three within our means, still save, still enjoy our lives and give our children as much as we can. I have no regrets NOW, but I’ve never experienced PTLS or any other physical issues. After my first ligation I would get teary on occasion watching A Baby Story or seeing a pregnant lady, now I’m so over baby stuff it’s a 180 change. Like everyone – I’m eternally grateful to CH for helping us have another child and completing our family. But I always expected to have my tubes re-tied – and have no regret at all. BFP’s to all!

Posted by Kathy, ST (Member # 8285) on September 25, 2008 08:03 AM:
The expression of emotion from each of these stories creates a great support system for those women with this shared experience, whether it be tubal ligation, tubal reversal or both.
Kathy

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:19 AM:
Flutist29 I know what you mean. I saw your big day is October the 8th. That is my birthday. I will truly be thinking of you on that day and saying prayers for you. I wish you all the best. It is funny too that we both live in NC. Tanya from VA your story is a great one that reminds us we never know how things will go. I wish you all the best. Miranda
ME-27
DH-22
DS-8
DD-4
TR-3/24/08

Posted by Eric’sGirl (Member # 10652) on September 25, 2008 10:31 AM:
Jennifer K… kudos to you for such a positive spin on the situation. Mine – a story that has been and will be told (UNFORTUNATELY) time and time again. A bad, abusive relationship… two babies back to back (blessed with a girl and a boy) and knowing I was leaving “some day” – couldn’t risk another pregnancy. Dr. was going to do clips because I was so young. I said he had to do the “traditional” cut and burn… or I would catch hell at home for having something “removable.” It could only mean I was planning to leave and start over again someday. TL Dr. went above and beyond the call of duty on that one! But Dr. B to the rescue! He pulled off some fancy work in there! No regrets, NOW! Through it all, I have meet some of the most amazing people: a doctor and a staff unparalleled any where on this planet, an amazing support group of women I will never meet and my October ’07 girls… some of the best friends a girl could want. So, Jennifer K, I have come to your way of thinking. It all happens for a reason. One year TR anniversary is coming up… still no Berger Baby – yet, my life has been blessed one thousand times over by this whole journey! Thank you CHTRC staff! Chrissy

Posted by justnotme (Member # 12842) on September 25, 2008 11:11 AM:

I also now regret having a TL. I had mine 18 months ago after the birth of my 2nd child. We were blessed with a DS and DD and felt that no matter what anyways 2 children were enough for me. I had the TL because I as well did not want to have to deal with BC pills etc and figured I was having a repeat c/s so I would do then. Another factor was my age. I was 37 when I had my DD and thought gosh, I don’t want to be having another one later on in life. So, after discussion with my OB about PTLS (I did research before my TL and stumbled across this website but didn\’t't really fully understand because of course I had not had it done yet) she informed me that it did not exist. Sooo, had it done. I didn’t get my first AF until 6 months after my DD due to breastfeeding, but let me tell you it was a doozie!! I had never experienced something like that before. I just thought, oh well it’s the first one post partum and dealt with it. Then I started noticing many more symptoms each month. So, I went searching again on the web and ended up here again. It has come full circle. PTLS does exist and that is why I am having the TR. To add to HisWill questioning whether the guilt or symptoms brought on the regret. For me it was the symptoms then the regret came. After reading about PTLS and it’s affects on women, I then felt really BROKEN. I am now not only on a quest to feel better but to feel whole. I have a lot of faith in GOD and definitely feel like He led me back here so I need to do what I know in my heart I need to do. Not only for me but the health and well being of my family. My TR is scheduled for Oct 29th and I am sooooo excited to have it done. I am so glad the we have the Dr.s and staff at CH to help us all heal for whatever reasons we did this for. Thank you all for letting me share my story with you and I enjoyed reading all of yours. Lisa

Posted by HisWill (Member # 12511) on September 25, 2008 11:24 AM:
Lisa that’s a great story. I pray the very best for you! I agree with you about symptoms first helping to lead to a feeling of being broken. It bothers me when the reverse is associated…like because we are sad we can’t have children, suddenly our bodies are sick. I didn’t even REALIZE I had regret until the symptoms of PTLS kept bludgeoning me. God Bless! Andrea

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 11:37 AM:
I want to share my experience with TL. I had 2 little ones and divorced my husband. It was a bad situation and I had to get out of that home. I was 14 hours away from family and wanted to stay in the area because of the children. Even if me and their father didn’t get along it was no excuse for moving across the country. I stayed and ex remarried and our relationship changed. I actually consider his wife one of my closest friends, strange I know. So that leads my to baby number three. I started a relationship with a co worker big mistake. We eventually moved in together and I thought everything was peachy. He had a daughter from a previous marriage and he just adored her. I mean I never saw a man just love a child so much. He was also good with my boys, taking them out fishing all the time. A year into the relationship we discussed having a child of our own. Well the mere thought of it and bingo bango I was PG. Morning sickness was horrible and a month or 2 into it he tells me he is leaving and he wants me to have an abortion. My ex and his wife took me and the boys in for awhile because I was so sick and in shock. I actually had a discussion about abortion because I was just lost and didn’t know what to do. Then I thought to hell with him I can do this on my own. He realized that this baby was coming like it or not. We managed to remain friendly and he went to child birth classes with me and was there for delivery. His mom was there too. He wanted baby to have his last name and I agreed not thinking things through – to hormonal. Anyway during the pregnancy I decided that all men were evil and it was best that I not having anymore children. He brought me and baby home from the hospital and never came around again. I called and asked for some help with support and wanting him in her life. He said he would give me $50.00 a month! I was in college and didn’t want to take him to court so I agreed. Well he would call me and say I am in the parking lot come and get your money. Not once did he ask to see her. I called one night and asked for a little extra because I was low on diapers. He showed up with a check and stood in front of me and ripped it in half. What a man. I cried I didn’t know what I was going to do. He said take me to court if you want the money. So I did and guess what he said it wasn’t his. I think he did this to drag out the process. We had to take a paternity test and viola 99.9% his. This was almost a 2 year process. I finally started getting money and he quit his job, go figure. He then said he wanted visitation just to make me miserable not because he wanted anything to do with this child. I was financially comfortable at this point and really didn’t need his money. I told him I will drop all child support if you agree to stay away. He didn’t want this child and I didn’t want her in an environment that was not good for her. She will be 8 next month and DH is the only daddy she has ever known. He would like to do a step parent adoption but I have fear of contacting her biological father. I did actually sit down and talk to her about him a few weeks ago. I have pictures and video of him at the birth and I want her to know about him. Anyway I know this is a long post. I have matured over the years and I had TL for all of the wrong reasons. I regret it and it has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am grateful to have found this site and look forward to my TR. Going through this has made me a strong woman who will stand up for what is right. I have faith that this will all work out for me and a baby will bless our family. Kim

Posted by KimSmi (Member # 7996) on September 25, 2008 11:43 AM:
Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back. I am another person who never regretted my TL. I had it when married to my ex and if I hadn’t, we might have had more children together. Though I would not trade my kids for the world, it is best that he and I did not have any others together. I had TR in 2005 and we (me and my current DH) gave 2.5 yrs of our lives to TTC. We made a wholehearted effort to have a baby together. Lots of life changes happened in 2.5 years and we decided we did not want to expand the size of our family, so DH had a vasectomy in January this year. Still no regrets. Each choice we’ve made has been right for that time in life. Best to everyone.
Kim
TL 5/1999
TR 6/2005
DH-V 1/2008

Posted by jessicad (Member # 12914) on September 25, 2008 12:03 PM:
KimSmi – I really enjoyed reading your post and your statement “Life is a funny journey and it is best not to look back.” That really says a lot. I too really have no regrets from getting my TL. Granted, now we’re considering the possibility of having a TR, but at the time the TL was what we wanted. Maybe we could have chosen a less “permanent” option, but hey! we did what we felt was right. We never know what the future holds for us.

Posted by hpygrl (Member # 12861) on September 25, 2008 12:38 PM:
I chose to have my TL because I was married to an abusive man and could not imagine bringing another child into that.(I would not change having my DS and DD from that relationship though) But at the time I was not sure that I would survive everything that I was going through and my ex was looking for another reason to tie me to relatioship longer…and he thought another child was it. Any way, this could drag out for ever so I will cut it short. I chose to have my TL with no support from him. My sister was by my side the whole time and supported me more than I could have ever imagined. My GYN did try to talk me into something less permanent, but I was afraid my ex would take that as a sign that I may be planning to leave him one day since he all ready knew I did think that us having more children was a good idea. I did not regret my decision at all until I met a wonderful man and he asked me to marry him. He has no children of his own and initially we were fine with the idea of not having children together. Well, now that time has passed and we have both changed our mind about that I have scheduled my TR for Oct. 27. We are looking forward to TTC and will hopefully be bringing a little one into our family soon!

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 12:48 PM:
gotthebabybug
What a touching story. I am so glad to hear that good or bad you have learned to stand up for what is right. The is what truly learning from your life is. My DH would like to adopt my 2 kids as well. But like you I am not ever looking forward to facing my ex about it all.I wish you all the best as you do what is right for your family. Miranda
TR-3/24/08

Posted by gotthebabybug (Member # 12913) on September 25, 2008 01:21 PM:
Its funny how all of the bad things I went through I some how managed to turn into a positive in my life now. At the time I would never have thought I would be in such a good place in my life. I have been blessed. I am a fighter and I always pull myself back to the top. If I don’t get the chance to have another baby I will be fine with that. There are other avenues out there you just gotta look.Kim

Posted by in-Gods-hands (Member # 11795) on September 25, 2008 08:05 PM:
Kim that is so true. I tell everyone, “nothing you want in this life is going to come easy”. You have to be a fighter. I wish you all the best and will be praying for you. Miranda

Posted by tjsncj (Member # 12135) on September 26, 2008 07:24 PM:
I do not regret my TL either. I was married at 17 had 3 kids by age 22 and had the TL during the c-section of my last baby. I had always wanted only 3 kids plus they said my uterus was thin and shouldn’t have any more so I had the TL. Fast forward 17 years later and me ex left us for a snotty biotch. He definetely deserved what you got, she’s a peach and makes him sleep in the basement. Two years later I remarried a younger man that had no children. The whole time after the TL I had no desire to have any more children but after I met him that was the only thing I wanted more than anything – giving him a child. Even though I hadn’t wanted anymore I couldn’t bear to live with myself if I was the reason he never had children. So we decided to have the TR and if it worked then it was meant to be. It apparently was meant to be because I had my TR on 9-7-05 and had a baby boy on 4-28-07. He came 6 weeks early on his daddy’s 32nd birthday. It was rough adjusting to a baby again. My other kids were 21, 19 and 16 at the time. Of course they adore him and just seeing the way DH looks at his son makes it all worth it. I had another TL in October 2007 and I have not regretted that TL either. Good luck to all those that are TTCing. Like JenniferK, I think the journney I am on happened for a reason and he is now clomping around the house in his new shoes, dragging his blanket behind him where ever he goes. JoAnn

Posted by melissa29 (Member # 12929) on September 26, 2008 08:33 PM:
hi everyone i got my TL only seven years ago after my forth child and now im remarried and my husband loves my kids like his own but he really would like one of his own.

Tags: Bfp, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal, Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, Dd, Dr Charles, Dr Gary, Feelings, Fertility, Gary Berger, Guilt And Regret, Little Girl, Monteith, Outpatient Procedure, Reversal Surgery, Right Decision, Tl, Tubal Ligation, Tubal Ligation Reversal, Tubes Tied, Unpleasant Symptoms

Tubal Reversal For Women Who Regret Having Their Tubes Tied

Mike Malone — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 06:49:21 +0000

Posted by Rhonda Brown, RN (Member # 9485) on January 02, 2008 08:19 AM:

Posted by cf4063 (Member # 11864) on January 03, 2008 04:10 AM:

Your Personal Journey From Tubal Ligation To Tubal Reversal Surgery

Mike Malone — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 05:57:01 +0000

This is topic Your journey from TL to TR in forum New Message Board Members at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by 2girlsmama (Member # 12024) on February 27, 2008 10:23 PM:
Thank you Miranda. I have read the posts in the Waiting Room. I’ll have to go over and post. Thanks

Posted by Lisa D. (Member # 11010) on February 29, 2008 12:13 PM:
Hi Sherry!

Guilt And Regret Over Having Tied Tubes

Mike Malone — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:36:14 +0000

This is topic Guilt and regret after tubal ligation in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by justnotme (Member # 12842) on September 25, 2008 11:11 AM:

Another Reason Scrubs is a Good Show

Mike Malone — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 03:34:18 +0000

Tonight’s episode of NBC sitcom Scrubs featured a surprisingly straightforward depiction of postpartum depression, as well as breastfeeding and lactation consultants. The character Carla has recently had a baby; her husband notices that she seems depressed, while she struggles with her feelings and insists that she’ll be fine. A friend of the couple who is also a mother eventually convinces Carla that she needs to seek help. Carla and her husband are also shown meeting with lactation consultants, with Carla appearing as though attempting to breastfeed. While the breastfeeding scene was played for laughs (it is a comedy, after all), the postpartum depression issue was portrayed as a serious concern, and neither of these two topics is a common sight on network television. Additionally, the Carla character is a long-time nurse, and her husband is a surgeon; depicting medical professionals dealing with these problems in a serious manner normalizes the issues in a way rarely seen in television or film.

Last fall, CBS ran public service announcements on postpartum depression during the crime drama Cold Case.

Technorati Tags: breastfeeding; lactation consultants; NBC; postpartum depression; Scrubs; television
MeSH Tags: Breast Feeding; Depression, Postpartum; lactation consultants [keyword]; Television

Tags: Breast Feeding, Breastfeeding, Carla, Cold Case, Crime Drama, Depiction, Depression Postpartum, Feelings, Lactation Consultants, Laughs, Medical Professionals, Mesh, Nbc, Nbc Sitcom, Nbc Television, Network Television, Postpartum Depression, Public Service Announcements, Scrubs, Time Nurse

Your Personal Journey From Tubal Ligation To Tubal Reversal Surgery

Mike Malone — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 15:52:04 +0000

This is topic Your journey from TL to TR in forum New Message Board Members at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by 2girlsmama (Member # 12024) on February 27, 2008 10:23 PM:
Thank you Miranda. I have read the posts in the Waiting Room. I’ll have to go over and post. Thanks

Posted by Lisa D. (Member # 11010) on February 29, 2008 12:13 PM:
Hi Sherry!

Tubal Reversal For Women Who Regret Having Their Tubes Tied

Mike Malone — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 02:31:41 +0000

Posted by Rhonda Brown, RN (Member # 9485) on January 02, 2008 08:19 AM:

Posted by cf4063 (Member # 11864) on January 03, 2008 04:10 AM:

Guilt And Regret Over Having Tied Tubes

Mike Malone — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 01:26:12 +0000

This is topic Guilt and regret after tubal ligation in forum After Tubal Reversal at Tubal Reversal Message Board.

Posted by justnotme (Member # 12842) on September 25, 2008 11:11 AM:

Vasectomy Reversal Tips » Feelings

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